Pillowtalk

Pillowtalk

Pillowtalk
Mixed media, artist’s book, handmade paper made from boyfriend’s clothes, thread, and letter foil
13″ x 9″ x 3″
2018















Pillowtalk
Mixed media, artist’s book, handmade paper made from boyfriend’s clothes, thread, and letter foil
13″ x 9″ x 3″
2018

Pillowtalk contains the moments and thoughts of my relationships as a homosexual male who grew up in traditional Chinese culture. The pink-toned paper was handmade using linear cotton sheets and cotton fillings of pillows; the purple papers are made from clothes I have collected from my boyfriends. Clothes are the second layer of the skin; they hold memories, moments, and stories. The cloth is fiber, the fiber is paper, the paper is memory. Making paper from clothes is a process of deconstructing the original memory carrier into a material that is used for recording histories. It is a process that, allows me to explore a new physical form for holding my memories.

Making Pillowtalk with its unspoken words and hidden texts symbolizes that nighttime is a secret space where I can dream of the fantasies and the ideal relationship as a Chinese gay man. Hiding my feelings and desires and expressing the loneliness of seeking love and finding the perfect one, is all expressed in this book. I include the relationships that were shaped by my demands, by the demands or desires of another person, and the way I behaved in relationships. With the hidden emotions, reflecting on the experiences and outcomes of my relationships, I have come to an understanding that although it is important to love someone; it is also important to know how to love someone. We often feel our partner is changing, but most likely it is we, who have changed our view of them.